Date: 02/09/2006 - 03/09/2006
During one of those drunken moments, an anonymous man stated, quite wisely, that the Annual Bognor Weekender is a 'Fantastic hockey festival with the unfortunate inconvenience of having to play hockey.'
Luckily for us, Friday night was a considerable distance away from the first games on Saturday morning, and so by that time we were in no position to be playing anything that could be considered as a game of hockey.
The local residents of Middleton's third grass pitch must've questioned their sanity whilst observing a bunch of Purple and Cowskin wearing players, passing the ball around cack-handedly or with stick-handle only accompanied by chants of "LionCow/CowBear - Mooo-raaarrrhh!" from the substitutes bench.
Back to Friday night and the Tour Virgin abuse was already in full effect with no less than five cherries collectively broken, the Vodka jellies were also in abundance, assisting us to stagger back to the campsite along a more scenic route than usual. Not to mention the surprise reappearance, later in the evening, of the Official SHC Welcoming Committee to help educate our newer members in the ways of the club.
Then there was Vortex Chicken, a seemingly innocent child's game with a twist involving two teams taking it in turns to throw a flying object at the opposition (who have their backs turned) with the sole intention of causing grevious bodily harm. By Sunday we were so fed-up with hockey the result of our games were decided in this manner instead, much to the disbelief of the observing onlookers in the clubhouse. (There were other types of Chicken games too, but the rules are far too complex to be describing here.)
So Bognor ended a fairly short, but high quality, touring season for the Purple Nasties, during which significantly more bottles of booze were consumed than the number of times we hit a ball with our sticks.
NOTE: The Purple Nasties wish to make it clear that absolutely no bananas were used in an inappropriate manner at any point during the tour. |
