Southend 1st XI 6 - 1 Upminster
"Robo jinx broken"
I had decided that the match report was either "Who needs Steve Hayman" or "We always lose when Robo plays". In the end Puppy decided it had to be "Robo jinx broken".
This weeks game was the first for the 1st team at Sweyne school and we turned up to be greeted by a very youthful looking Upminster team sporting new shiny tracksuits warming up in the car park playing cricket. "Look at their tracksuits don't they look dashing" said Christian "Can't we have some like that!!!?".
The game started with Gareth and Steve Hayman missing, and Keith Arnold starting a game playing at sweeper after the run of conceding so many goals finally convinced the Captain to take some action. From the start Upminster pressed, but like so many times previously lots of possession led to very little, and eventually the team broke quickly leading to Christian finding himself with a one on one with the keeper. As you know if you have read the previous reports this shouldn't really worry the opposition, but this time he calmly lobbed the keeper to score a fine goal and ruin my gloating of being the only person to have scored one. Looks like I'll have to find someone else to pick on now. How about James Lockwood for being the worst player in the first team or Gareth for missing penalty flicks?
From then on we began to dominate. Puppy got an edge on a Rich Hill cross to make it 2 - 0 and Strawberry scored the first of two goals to make it three as well as having a hand in winning a penalty flick which Keith scored after a 10 minute break in play. A couple of points to make here. When I say he had a hand in winning a flick, what I meant to say was he hammered the ball into an Upminster players face (via the keepers stick), giving umpire Cliff Lockwood no choice but to award the flick when his face stopped a clear goal on the line. Well you say no choice. What I meant was no choice once he had confirmed with the other umpire! Anyway, 10 minutes and lots of claret later and the flick was duly scored (It's easy scoring flicks Gareth and I believe that in the last 2 seasons that's 2 out of 4 for you and 3 from 3 for me!) I'm Looking forward to the next one we get. It seemed like the player was OK in the end and the whole of Southend HC wishes you a speedy recovery and hopes you are well if you are reading this (On a positive note its a good job your face wasn't that good looking in the first place!).
Back to the game, we carried on dominating, and at half time the game was won and we were 5 - 0 up and playing superbly. And then on came David "National League" Robo.
After that we were rubbish. We managed to let them back into the game a bit, and eventually the clean sheet we were hoping for disappeared when they snuck a short corner that went wrong. Our last goal came from Christian again.
A great all round performance and a good victory which should stand us in good stead for next weeks trip to the league leaders.
Goals - Strawbs 2, Arnold, Jenkins 2, Crompton.
Team - 5, Arnold, Styles, Hayman, Harvey, Lockwood, Jones, Crompton, Hill, Mellish, Utton, Jenkins, Robson, Ingram,
Missing - Stress after his man of the match winning try secured his college rugby team a trip to Twickenham. Stick to hockey son, rugby is a girls game and England are rubbish. Can't even beat Argentina. And now you're going to have to start on the bench next week after this win.
Man of the Match - Strawberry
Burberry - Robo. Absolutely rubbish. How did he ever get in the team? Good job we were 5 - 0 up when we brought him on.
And lastly the final word. WE SAID VARSITY NOT BAKERS.
Southend & Benfleet 1st XI 1 – 1 Upminster 3rd XI
The ladies 1s had a depleted team this week with 5 of our regular players unavailable, mainly to do with the time of the game!!! (4pm at Cooper’s).
Never the less we had a strong side with Bex Goddard, Stacey Chandler, Heidi Shepherd and Nicola Coleman coming up from the 2s to help us out, so a big thank you and well played.
The game itself was a bit hit and miss, we put up a strong attack and for the most part had the majority of the play, we scored our goal in the first half from a scrappy mess in the D following a short corner rebound, Stephanie Gregory (aka Beitel) put the ball away to get her first goal of the season.
After that we did what seems to be normal for us at the moment, which is fall apart!!!! The second half proved to be all too much, with the day now turned into darkness (shocking floodlighting), and Upminster gagging for a goal the pressure was on. They scored with 10 minutes to go from a short corner strike that poor injured Lisa just couldn’t stop, although she had performed superbly and even managed to kick out a few to clear our defence. Excellent play for some one so injured!!!
Now with a 1-1 looking likely we tried to push hard to sneak a win but the ladies remained very quiet with very little passing going on in the goal area, and time running out on us, although I’m not sure we would have scored again even if we were given all the time in the world. Obviously just not our day!!! (can we keep using that as our excuse???)
Team: Lisa Ballard, Sandy Revell ©, Anne Johnson, Bex Goddard, Nicola Coleman, Stacey Chandler, Heidi Shepherd, Kendal Colman, Steph Gregory, Chloe Harris, Naomi Barker, Chantal Heringer.
Goal Scorer: Steph Gregory.
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