Tour Rule 2: Definition of a Tour Virgin: Anyone who has never been on a Southend HC tour before regardless of age, sex or IQ level.
The Human Rights Act will not apply to Tour Virgins for the duration of tour and as such they will do whatever they are told to do by the chairman (Robo) or any vice-chairperson(s) that are appointed.
Usual basic tasks include getting the drinks in and other general errand running plus the possibility of being picked on during drinking games.
Whilst it's never absolutely safe to go on tour without having some of your dignity being removed, spare a thought for this year's Tour Virgins, who had to endure a constant barrage of 'I need a snakebite' requests from the tour-veterans, being forced to wear silly outfits in public, and having alcohol poured over their heads at every opportunity.
No wonder we had to get their parents' permission to bring them! |
