1) All tourers will be presented with their own unique list of cocktail drink ingredients prior to touring. These must be purchased and must accompany the tourer at each festival (touring members under 18 years of age may substitute the alcoholic portion of their drink for non-alcoholic equivalents). All 'Purple Nastie Fines' listed below will require the tourer to mix and drink relevant quantities of the tourer's cocktail. Four fingers of a regular drink fine for any infringement of this rule.
2) Left-handed drinking will apply at all times. Right hands must always be kept free for eating, smoking, rolling dice and groping. One finger Purple Nastie Fine for each infringement on this rule.
3) This year's official touring song is Gogol Bordello's 'Start Wearing Purple'. All tourers must be fully aware of the words in the chorus and be prepared to sing them either individually (when demanded by the chairman or any vice-chairperson(s) that are appointed) or with the team. One finger Purple Nastie Fine for each infringement on this rule.
4) Definition of a Tour Virgin: Anyone who has never been on a Southend HC tour before regardless of age, sex or IQ level. The Human Rights Act will not apply to Tour Virgins for the duration of tour and as such they will do whatever they are told to do by . Usual basic tasks include getting the drinks in and other general errand running plus the possibility of being picked on during drinking games.
5) Dick of the day will apply. Nominated dick of the day will be provided with suitable attire to be worn at the evening do.
6) Other general rules may apply at the chairman's discreation during drinking games or after 8pm when the evening do's will start. Such rules may include trouser-man, magic boomerang, thumbmaster etc but will be introduced and explained at the time.
7) Prizes will be given at the end of tour for: Player of the tournament, Dick of the tournament, Top tourer and Champagne moment.
8) Cameras are actively encouraged. Remember...what goes on tour stays posted on our website for the whole world to see!!
9) In the event of any disputes, the chairman's decision is final. This is not a democracy and this tour is for the chairman's enjoyment, not yours. |
